Aku rasa, aku cerita. Aku baca, aku cerita.

Wednesday, December 27, 2017

The Feelings

If only this feeling can be translated into actions.
I will smash tons of bottles,
Lay it on the floor,
I will walk on that 'glassy' floor.
If I can smash all the things in front of me,
Until there is no longer things that I can smash or throw away from me,
I will feel better.
I think so.

It just happened inside my head.

And alhamdulillah.
It is still bearable.
May Allah give the strength to those who's having this kind of feelings.

My little confession.


Monday, November 27, 2017

The Abnormal

On last 3 weeks.
Exactly 20 days ago.
Something happened.
I was being rushed to hospital.
Which later doctor gave me 5 days of MC.

With the 5 days of MC,
Everyone at office was keep asking me,
On what happened.
But, left unsaid.

With the current condition,
I am no longer doing the things that I love.
(I even cannot jogging, running anymore. Me so sad!)
I try to avoid something that can trigger my abnormality.
I try to avoid meeting new people.
I try to do something new.
I try to do something out of my norm.
I started blogging after some time I left it.
I hope I can get through this.

People around me are very supportive,
Eventhough they didn’t know what is really happening.
And sometimes it made me feel guilty,
For not being stronger,
Because sometimes,
I just wanna lay on my bed,
Not doing anything,
Just sleeping,
And shut my world from others.
It really needs hard work.
Super hard work.

Being a human,
A normal human,
With abnormality,
I am fragile too.

I am struggling.
With myself.
May Allah make it easy for me.
And for you too.

The Turner of the hearts.
You know my condition now.

My little confession,

Sunday, November 19, 2017

The Undefined

The undefined.

By words,
By gestures,
By memories.

Impacting the soul.
Either bad or good.

Struggling to find the meaning,
Lost in the middle of nowhere.

Which later,
Found the light at the end of the love tunnel.

Feel the joy,
Enjoy while it last.

As we never know when the love ends.

May the soul rest well in the perfect love.

Friday, November 17, 2017

The numbers

I love numbers. 
I love mathematics. 
I love teaching mathematics. 
Because 1 plus 1 will always be 2 in mathematics. 

Today is 171117. 
Because of the beautiful date,
I tried something to commemorate this date. 

So, I’ve tried to do vlogging!
Now I know, vlogging is not as easy as blogging. 
After several trials, 
Now I present to you the video. 

On the side notes,
Something happened in my life,
I feel like my heart is ‘shattered’,
And now, I try to pick up the ‘pieces’,
I just wanna be happy. 
I want people around me to be happy too. 
Please pray for each other’s happiness. 

Yours truly,
The amateur vlogger. 

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