Aku rasa, aku cerita. Aku baca, aku cerita.

Monday, November 27, 2017

The Abnormal

On last 3 weeks.
Exactly 20 days ago.
Something happened.
I was being rushed to hospital.
Which later doctor gave me 5 days of MC.

With the 5 days of MC,
Everyone at office was keep asking me,
On what happened.
But, left unsaid.

With the current condition,
I am no longer doing the things that I love.
(I even cannot jogging, running anymore. Me so sad!)
I try to avoid something that can trigger my abnormality.
I try to avoid meeting new people.
I try to do something new.
I try to do something out of my norm.
I started blogging after some time I left it.
I hope I can get through this.

People around me are very supportive,
Eventhough they didn’t know what is really happening.
And sometimes it made me feel guilty,
For not being stronger,
Because sometimes,
I just wanna lay on my bed,
Not doing anything,
Just sleeping,
And shut my world from others.
It really needs hard work.
Super hard work.

Being a human,
A normal human,
With abnormality,
I am fragile too.

I am struggling.
With myself.
May Allah make it easy for me.
And for you too.

The Turner of the hearts.
You know my condition now.

My little confession,

Sunday, November 19, 2017

The Undefined

The undefined.

By words,
By gestures,
By memories.

Impacting the soul.
Either bad or good.

Struggling to find the meaning,
Lost in the middle of nowhere.

Which later,
Found the light at the end of the love tunnel.

Feel the joy,
Enjoy while it last.

As we never know when the love ends.

May the soul rest well in the perfect love.

Friday, November 17, 2017

The numbers

I love numbers. 
I love mathematics. 
I love teaching mathematics. 
Because 1 plus 1 will always be 2 in mathematics. 

Today is 171117. 
Because of the beautiful date,
I tried something to commemorate this date. 

So, I’ve tried to do vlogging!
Now I know, vlogging is not as easy as blogging. 
After several trials, 
Now I present to you the video. 

On the side notes,
Something happened in my life,
I feel like my heart is ‘shattered’,
And now, I try to pick up the ‘pieces’,
I just wanna be happy. 
I want people around me to be happy too. 
Please pray for each other’s happiness. 

Yours truly,
The amateur vlogger. 

Thursday, November 16, 2017

The Weapons

Do you believe in dua’?
For me, I do.

During my secondary school,
My ustazah always said that,
‘Doa itu senjata’.

Up until now,
I still hold to that words.
‘Senjata’ or ‘weapon’.

When we are getting older,
More challenges we will face.
Just like examination in schools,
Our life is the same too.

Every level of life,
Demands our new level of hard work.

I’m a girl who has so many dreams,
I will make dua’ on every wishes,.
I will visualise it before I sleep if I cannot sleep.

Sometimes, when things go wrong,
I try to fix it,
I will make dua’ even harder,
And try my very best to be positive about it.

And yes, it really needs hard work,
When you have to always husnudzon with your Creator,
To always think positive,
When your dua’ is not being answered as what you want.

Life is a process.
You make dua’,
You get it, because it is meant for you.
You don’t get it, because it is also meant for you.
The things are destined to be yours,
Will eventually come to you.
But the process will require a big chunk of patience and redha.

Life is so magical.
Allah is Ar Rahman and Ar Rahim.
He give problems,
He give the way how to solve the problem too,
The weapon, dua’.

With the weapon,
We should learn how to use it,
How to manage it.

My self reflection,
Despite of my family,
Bintulu is one of my dua’,
Nemo is also one of my dua’,
After years of grieving.

And now,
I am facing new challenge,
By physically and mentally,
Where I need to use the ‘weapons’,
In every minute and every second.
With yaqeen insyaAllah.

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