Aku rasa, aku cerita. Aku baca, aku cerita.

Sunday, November 19, 2017

The Undefined

The undefined.

By words,
By gestures,
By memories.

Impacting the soul.
Either bad or good.

Struggling to find the meaning,
Lost in the middle of nowhere.

Which later,
Found the light at the end of the love tunnel.

Feel the joy,
Enjoy while it last.

As we never know when the love ends.

May the soul rest well in the perfect love.

Friday, November 17, 2017

The numbers

I love numbers. 
I love mathematics. 
I love teaching mathematics. 
Because 1 plus 1 will always be 2 in mathematics. 

Today is 171117. 
Because of the beautiful date,
I tried something to commemorate this date. 

So, I’ve tried to do vlogging!
Now I know, vlogging is not as easy as blogging. 
After several trials, 
Now I present to you the video. 

On the side notes,
Something happened in my life,
I feel like my heart is ‘shattered’,
And now, I try to pick up the ‘pieces’,
I just wanna be happy. 
I want people around me to be happy too. 
Please pray for each other’s happiness. 

Yours truly,
The amateur vlogger. 

Thursday, November 16, 2017

The Weapons

Do you believe in dua’?
For me, I do.

During my secondary school,
My ustazah always said that,
‘Doa itu senjata’.

Up until now,
I still hold to that words.
‘Senjata’ or ‘weapon’.

When we are getting older,
More challenges we will face.
Just like examination in schools,
Our life is the same too.

Every level of life,
Demands our new level of hard work.

I’m a girl who has so many dreams,
I will make dua’ on every wishes,.
I will visualise it before I sleep if I cannot sleep.

Sometimes, when things go wrong,
I try to fix it,
I will make dua’ even harder,
And try my very best to be positive about it.

And yes, it really needs hard work,
When you have to always husnudzon with your Creator,
To always think positive,
When your dua’ is not being answered as what you want.

Life is a process.
You make dua’,
You get it, because it is meant for you.
You don’t get it, because it is also meant for you.
The things are destined to be yours,
Will eventually come to you.
But the process will require a big chunk of patience and redha.

Life is so magical.
Allah is Ar Rahman and Ar Rahim.
He give problems,
He give the way how to solve the problem too,
The weapon, dua’.

With the weapon,
We should learn how to use it,
How to manage it.

My self reflection,
Despite of my family,
Bintulu is one of my dua’,
Nemo is also one of my dua’,
After years of grieving.

And now,
I am facing new challenge,
By physically and mentally,
Where I need to use the ‘weapons’,
In every minute and every second.
With yaqeen insyaAllah.


Wednesday, November 15, 2017

When Dory meets Nemo

Before going to bed.
I feel like writing one more post. 
It is a gratitude post. 
For the one and only Nemo in my life. 

I met Nemo during Rinjani’s expedition. 
I still remember the eyes of her looking at me for the first time. 
I didn’t know her existence until we met at the airport. 
Alhamdulillah, with that situation, I have no expectation on her for the first time I saw her. 
So, zero monologue done at that time except for the eyes part. 🙈

There were so many memories that we’ve shared during the expedition. 
I am relieved to have her during the expedition. 
Because before the trip,  I was so anxious thinking of not having partner. 
Allah has made a perfect plan for us. 

We just know each other during that trip,
however I felt like I knew her for long time before this.
I learned so many things about her,
She had taught me so many things about life,
She sticks with me through thick and thin and,
I feel like having a protective sister during the trip. 

Her warm heart has touched mine. 
Until I feel I wanna be her family. 
Until I want her to be safe wherever she goes,
Until I include her in my dua after my daily prayers,
Until I prayed to have her too in Jannah together with my family. 

She is like a ‘home’ for me. 
A cosy home with no judgement. 
A cosy home that I will always looking forward when I am lost. 

However, good things in dunya are like rainbow. 
It comes out for a while after the rains. 
Although it is hard to digest what is really happening,
I pray to Allah, to ease our hearts. 

One thing that I really wanna do now if I met her,
Is to hug her and drain all the bad things that happened between us. 

And may our path crossed again,
She is my forever Nemo.
And I will be her forever Dory. 

Dear Nemo,
I love you lillahi Ta’ala. 
May Allah bless the love that have had in our hearts.

I am Dory, but that’s not what made me forget about her. 

Missing Nemo,

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